Grief and gratitude

Gratitude has become one of my best coping mechanisms. I thank God that we had Alex for almost 15 years, that we didn’t lose him at birth like we might have (he was born with the cord around his neck, blue and not breathing until on his way to NICU), that my back wasn’t turned and so he didn’t drown in Lake Superior (the day he stepped off the drop-off and went under).   I remember with gratitude the beautiful times we spent together and the wonderous feeling of his soft neck in the special place where I would kiss him.

I promise I will write more as soon as I’ve finished a mini research paper that I’m writing, but I read this blogger today, and I wanted to share her with you because she both articulates how I feel now and anticipates how I hope I will feel in the years to come. I only wish I could be as articulate as she.

Meet Robin Gaphni whose 21-year-old son, Matthew, died in the hospital of a virulent form of strep that did massive damage to his heart in October 2010.

Parker Palmer, who shared her blog on Facebook, explains that 17 months after Matthew died, Robin began a blog called “Grief & Gratitude.” In her intro to the blog, she writes that it’s about “the transformational power of grief, and the resulting consequence of gratitude for all of the little things that constitute my life today. By acknowledging and appreciating life’s impermanence, I am left with deep gratitude for what is right now.”

In Parker Palmer’s words, “Robin is an amazing example of the life-giving power of a heart broken open instead of apart. She writes wonderfully well about the most important things. I’ve learned a great deal from her, so I want you to know about her blog.”

You’ll find it at http://www.griefgratitude.com/.